Quarantined

This week was very eventful.  I woke up Monday morning, chatted with a friend from back in the states, and then started my morning exercise routine.  About 12 minutes in I realized that I didn't feel so great.  I stopped, laid on the bed, and then just began to feel more and more uneasy.  I never finished my exercise but found myself lying around most all morning.  When we did get out later that day I felt even more lousy.  Such began my week of being quarantined.

No, don't worry.  I never actually left my house, but I didn't really leave my bedroom either.  From Tuesday to Friday I stayed in bed except for an occasional trip to the bathroom or an occasional trip to get medicine or water.  I guess it was the flu?!!???  Whatever it was, I hope we don't meet again.

I watched enough TV, internet, cell phone apps, and read enough of books that now all I want to do is anything but those 4 things!  As I sat in my bed, bored out of my mind, I began to wonder about what I could possibly write about this week.

And just like that...this thought came.

Quarantined.  Lying in bed day after day watching the world go by.  Seeing short glimpses of those you love....who seem to be really enjoying life.  Also feeling like you can't get too close to anyone or you might rub off of them..but also seeing that they don't have much of a desire to get too close either.  Filling your time with worthless things...just trying to forget how miserable you feel.  Taking medicine that doesn't cure the symptoms but just masks over them.  Feeling pain and achy.  Not knowing when it will end or what the next day will hold...

It all reminded me of how I felt before I became a Christian.  I remember watching the world around me and feeling like a lot of the people had real joy.  But I also remember feeling a little scared to get too close and feeling like they probably didn't want to get too close anyway.  I remember trying to fill my time and my energy on things that would distract me from how I really felt.  Those things just masked over the problem, but didn't take any of the problems away.  I felt sad and lonely and miserable and didn't see any end in sight.

But praise the LORD, 20 years ago (this September), God changed all of that and brought me out!  Thank you, Jesus, for giving me LIFE and PEACE and JOY that I never could have even imagined.

(As for the adoption, we are still asking God to let us know about our Sweet Girl by her birthday which is soon.  I hope to bring you good news this time next week.  :-)