Now you see it…now you don’t…
I haven’t forgotten the blog, but the last few weeks have
not held too much to write about. More
than a month ago, I sent a picture to my primary physician of some moles that
Isaac has on his shoulders. I wanted her
to let me know what she thought about getting them removed. They are right where his backpack rests on
his shoulders, and I thought that it might not be good for them always to
getting rubbed up against. So I sent a
picture at her request and I included a picture of my birth mark that I had
just noticed seemed to look different than in years past. The birth mark is on my ankle and I really
don’t ever pay it any attention.
Her response was “I’m not worried about your son’s moles,
but you need to call and schedule a biopsy with me to have your mole removed.” I fell…literally…on the floor. I cried out to God, “Please forgive me for my
lack of faith… I said that I wouldn’t worry again, but I am scared.” After a couple of days I convinced myself to
stop googling pictures of melanoma and to trust Him enough to not think about it
anymore. In that I also made the
decision not to tell some people really close to me. I felt that the more people I told…and the
more questions they asked…I would be more tempted to worry. After praying about
not telling them, I felt that was the right thing to do. I scheduled the appointment for as soon as I
could get in. That Monday morning our
whole family showed up at the doctor’s office—I didn’t want to go alone. When she saw the size of the birth mark, she
said, “I didn’t realize that the mole was this big. I am not going to be able to do this in my
office. You are going to have to see a
specialist.” So with all the anxiety that
I had built up, I was somewhat relieved that I wasn’t going to have to have the
operation that day, but I also knew that it was going to have to happen
eventually.
It was more than a week before I heard back about an
appointment with the specialist. Another
week and a half after that (as soon as I could get an appointment), I went in
to see him. He told me about all the
risks…that I might not be able to walk very good for a while, there might be a
permanent indentation in my leg, it was going to be an ugly scar, and I wouldn’t
be able to do life as normal for a while, I agreed to do the surgery. Honestly he told me that day that I could
just ignore it if I wanted…from the looks of it, he thought it was benign. However, I already knew that the only way to
truly know was to have the biopsy. After
what seemed like 15 shots to numb the area (I felt most of those), he finally
removed the mole. That wasn’t painful,
but when I sat up to see the completed picture (before he put on the bandage),
my stomach turned a little—it was VERY indented. After he got everything all cleaned up I had
to sit and rest on the bed for about 5 minutes until I knew that I wasn’t going
to pass out.
Three weeks later I still can’t exercise, but other than that I am back to normal. Stairs are still not that fun, but no one would know that I had any kind of surgery. The results came back after about 4 days—the mole was benign. Praise the Lord!
When I look back on the last year, it has been quite the adventure with hospitals and health in general. I am not sure what exactly God is doing, but I know this I have learned: God doesn’t desire that I have an easy life. An easy life would not require trust in Him. I rejoice in my suffering… “And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:2-4
Let’s do a quick recap of what all God did to teach me this
(I am a slow learner):
April 2014—Cara told she might have had a stroke (because of
memory loss)
May 2014—Doctor ordered a MRI—told that the doctors were not
sure of what was wrong, but that she definitely had hearing loss.
May 2014—Doctor confirms that she has hearing loss, and
orders her to take steroids. The hearing
loss somewhat improves, but is still not completely normal in one ear.
June 2014—A doctor friend encourages Cara to keep trying to
find out what is the reason for the memory loss.
Summer 2014—Countless tests: blood pressure, EKG, 24 hour
EKG, blood tests, etc.—all come back normal
October 2014—Another MRI is performed in Macau
November 2014— The MRI comes back clean…NO cancer, NO stroke…but
still some spots on the brain that need to be rechecked in a year’s time
December 2014—Autumn has an emergency appendectomy.
January 2015—Cara gets the flu.
January 2015—We discover that Joel has a hernia.
January 2015—Stephen falls and cuts his head and hands on a
glass—another visit to the hospital.
February 2015—Joel has hernia surgery
February 2015—We all get sick with the flu—a BAD case of the
flu.
March 2015—Cara is told she needs to have a biopsy; the mole
is removed
April 2015—The last stitches are removed.
I am not quite sure what the future holds, but I know that
my Father is the one that holds the future.
I am putting up this stone to remember…
